My monitoring pinged me from inside a coffin

I run solo ops for a handful of clients on Contabo and Hetzner VPS instances. 99.97% YTD uptime, the graphs don't lie. Last Tuesday I was at my aunt's funeral, phone in the bag per request. OVHcloud box went hard down at 14:23 UTC. PagerDuty blasted through vibrate. Bag buzzed against the wooden pew during the eulogy. Three rows turned. My cousin hissed "is that YOUR phone." I crawled out to the foyer checking status pages while the graphs confirmed a full provider-side outage. 47 minutes. Alert fatigue is real but the SLA doesn't care about grief. Solo operators: how do you handle respectful on-call when there's no rotation to hand to?

My phone is basically a vibrator 😂

Seriously though

• Contabo alerts = loud
• Hetzner = silent webhook to discord
• OVHcloud = email only
• Hostinger = they never go down so who knows

Funeral situation I woulda

• Left phone in car
• Accepted the 47 min blip
• Explained to client after

Your uptime percentage can survive one funeral