I ran a 5K carrying my entire homelab in a backpack

The setup: 3x Intel NUCs (I5-8365U, 64GB RAM each), a MikroTik CRS326, USB3 NVMe enclosure, and a 20Ah LiFePO4 battery pack. Total weight 8.4kg. Strapped to a Deuter Trans Alpine with custom 3D-printed brackets.

Heart rate data from my Polar H10:

• Baseline warm-up: 118 bpm
• Kilometer 1-2 (flat): 152-161 bpm, holding steady pace
• Kilometer 3 (incline): 178 bpm, started feeling the battery mass shift
• Kilometer 4-5: 169 bpm, compensated by shortening stride
• Post-finish: 2:38 to return to 120 bpm

BGP convergence across the three nodes stayed stable. I had a WireGuard tunnel back to my Contabo VPS for route advertisement. RPKI validation continued without ROV drops. The CRS326 drew 11W; battery depleted 34% over 47 minutes.

I do not recommend this. The center of mass was too high. I will be refining the bracket geometry and possibly switching to a waist-belt battery relocation for the 10K attempt.

The ticket said "customer reports neighbor running suspicious network equipment in public park, possible unauthorized wireless transmission" and I had to explain to the county that no, this man was not operating a pirate radio station, he was just doing cardio with a router