Right then, lads—been clearing out the cupboard and found I'm sitting on eleven active accounts across six providers. Proper ridiculous. Three are legacy shared hosts from before I knew what a VPS was, two are mail servers I keep meaning to consolidate, one's a OVHcloud box I got in a flash sale and forgot about until the renewal hit.
Cheers to anyone worse than me.
Honey badger don't care... about downtime