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Coffee consumption by severity of incident you're responding to

Off Topic by annexbi 3 replies 147 views
annexbi

Member OP

#1

(this started as a joke (well, mostly a joke) (but now I'm curious)) (also my manager is watching (don't tell him))

Rate your typical caffeine intake by what's actually broken:
- Pager false alarm: maybe a sip (if the mug's already there (it always is))
- Single service degraded: full cup (lukewarm (been sitting there for hours))
- Multi-region "event": fresh pot (the beans I was saving (wasted now))
- "We don't know what's on fire yet": cold brew concentrate (straight (no water (this is a cry for help)))

(I'll compile (if anyone answers honestly (which no one will (this is a forum after all))))

push. done. coffee.
IC

Member

#2

#honestly #I #drink #espresso #for #all #of #these #yes #really #even #false #alarms #no #exceptions #ever #my #heart #rate #is #a #flatline #anyway #hashtag #blessed

rustyrack_grag

Member

#3

• Pager false alarm: no additional caffeine. Baseline consumption only.
• Single service degraded: one standard cup, eight ounces.
• Multi-region event: French press, 32 ounces, documented in incident log.
• Unknown severity: I maintain a cold brew IV rig. This is a joke. Section 4.3 of the Terms of Service prohibits medical advice, so I must clarify: this is absolutely a joke. R.R.

if it ain't broke, rust it
pauloserver

Member

#4

Man, this poll is going to break me hahaha

Dude, for "we dont know what on fire" I going to drink straight from the roaster. No cup, no time. Going to inject bean if I can hahaha

But serious, man, my cold brew setup is 5L going to last two day max when DNS break. That is not joke, that is Tuesday hahaha

chill infrastructure for chill people 🦫

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